Friday, August 16, 2013

Exactness vs. Perfection

A sister missionary I correspond with posed the following question in a recent email:  "What are your thoughts about perfection vs. being exact?"  I thought it was a great question and have started pondering and studying it out.  So far I've read the talk Perfection Pending and have been pondering Moroni 10:32.  

It got me thinking about a few things:

1. What does it mean to become perfected in Christ?
2. Is it possible for a pursuit of exactness in obedience to distract us from coming unto Christ?
3. How should I have responded when I had companions whose lack of obedience limited my own ability to be exact in obedience?
4. What is the relationship between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law?
5. Why does it seem that some who pursue obedience with exactness end up stressed out and overanxious?  

I'll try to record some of my insights as my studies progress, but was curious about what y'all thought or things you've learned as well.  So, if you have questions or answers to consider, please share!


6 comments:

  1. Ooo! This is something I've thought and studied about quite a bit. I don't have a lot of time right now, but here's something that one of my companions taught me:

    In Spanish (or at least in Ecuador), they have a word for someone who strives to be obedient with exactness... It's "reglista." The English translation would be something like "rule Nazi." It doesn't have a great connotation. Anyway, my companion taught me that you're only a reglista if you impose your standards on others and look down on them if they feel differently.

    This is an interesting definition to consider. There is the potential for pride to creep in when we strive to be obedient with exactness--looking down or condemning others who aren't as obedient--and it can definitely derail our quest for perfection if we let it take over.

    I'll have to study/write more on this later.

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  2. So my last post was a partial response to question number 2. Our pursuit of obedience with exactness can distract us from coming unto Christ if we pride ourselves on being more righteous than others and look down on them for not living up to the same standard.

    However, with that said, I have found that sometimes people can feel threatened by others' high standards and perceive self-righteousness, even when there is no "looking down" or condemnation going on. (This is unfortunate, and I'm not sure how it can be avoided. Any ideas???)

    Another way that pursuing obedience with exactness can distract us from coming unto Christ is by dissolving unity. If our living a high standard alienates us from family or a mission companion, it may do more harm than living a lower standard. (I'm not sure about this. Obviously, the ideal situation would be to live the higher standard in unity, but if that's not an option, is it better to be unified in living a lower standard or to be divided while living the higher standard? I think this is an individual matter that requires pondering, prayer, and personal revelation.)

    This is a good transition into question 3: How should we respond when others' lack of obedience limits our own ability to be obedient with exactness? This scenario isn't limited to serving with a companion in the mission field; post-mission it can be an issue with roommates, friends, and family members as well. I've thought, studied, and discussed this issue a lot. Here are two applications that I have dealt with personally: (1) keeping the Sabbath day holy and (2) media choices.

    First, keeping the Sabbath day holy is one commandment that I have a super huge testimony of and feel strongly committed to. Scott's family, however, loves watching football together on Sundays. Scott and I have talked about this a lot, and we have decided it's a good, better, best scenario. It's good to spend time together as a family on Sundays, but there are probably better ways to spend that family time than watching football. Still, what should we do when there's a family event on Sunday that conflicts with our Sabbath standards? Which is more important--keeping our standard, or maintaining a good relationship with family? It's something we've had to talk about and decide on a case-by-case basis.

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  3. Second, media viewing is another area that I've worried a lot about. "For the Strength of Youth" is very clear about what we should and should not watch: "Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable." That eliminates most movies and television shows out there. But I've worried a lot about alienating myself or coming across as self-righteous for being exactly obedient to this counsel.

    If roommates, friends, or a family member is watching something that does not meet this standard, what should be done? Again, "For the Strength of Youth" is very clear: "Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit." It's hard though, and I'll admit I've relaxed my standards a lot over recent years. It's hard to be the only one who declines to watch a widely accepted PG-13 movie at a party or family event.

    In response to this, I've done a lot of study on moral courage, because it takes a lot of moral courage to be obedient with exactness in a world where exact obedience is seen as extremist. Here's just one relevant quote that I particularly like.

    Shortly after I got home from my mission, President Packer gave a BYU Devotional about the Tree of Life, and he talked about those in the great and spacious building that mocked. He said: "You who are young will see many things that will try your courage and test your faith. All of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church. Let me say that again: All of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church. Be careful that you do not fall into the category of mocking." I recommend reading the entire talk: http://speeches.byu.edu/index.php?act=viewitem&id=1673.

    Anyway, I could say a lot more on this. But I'd be interested to hear what you all think. Sometimes I talk too much! :o)

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  4. How's this for a tender mercy/sign that I need to read this talk...I just got on the computer with the intent of going to speeches.byu.edu to look up "those two talks on Lehi's dream given in January and February of 2007", the other being one by Elder Bednar. I'm excited to study them and share my thoughts and feedback afterwards.

    And, Em, I don't think you talk too much. I love learning from you!

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  5. Oo! Then you should also read the one given in March of 2007 by Elder Anderson--also about the Tree of Life: http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,538-1-4095-1,00.html.

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  6. I was reading President Packer's Conference talk, and a couple of sentences stood out and may be relevant here:

    "Tolerance is a virtue, but like all virtues, when exaggerated, it transforms itself into a vice. We need to be careful of the 'tolerance trap' so that we are not swallowed up in it."

    Can this apply to obedience? Obedience is a virtue, right? Then obedience, when exaggerated, transforms itself into a vice. Is it possible to be too obedient? What do you think?

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